Ah, who doesn't love a good vampire storyline? I fell in love with the series, Vampire Diaries, just a few years before it's final season in 2017. I admit, I gave it a shot out of boredom, scrolling through Netflix wanting to get hooked into a screen, rather than doing something more productive. And I succeeded in my intention, because after the second or third episode, I was under the influence of vampires. The storyline was nothing original, but, man, the writing was excellent!
The script! I've concluded that unfolding dramas in real life are scripts developed and projected based on the energy within oneself. I know that's a little deep, but I can only encourage your consideration of this perception. I invite you to suspend all belief and disbelief for a day, and if even that is too much, then for an hour. Real life is actually reel life. It doesn't mean it's not real, just that that is what real is. And when we begin to observe what is going on around us, at the collective levels of world, community, and family, but most importantly at the personal level where triumphs, wounds, trauma, and connection reside, you will start to see that you are creating this. I'll write more on this soon, so in the meantime, happy finding! You will not be disappointed!
So vampires, aye? In real life, we've all encountered them, and we've all been them. Vampires unaware! Are you one? How do you know? I can't stress this enough- real is reel. As much as we don't want to hear this, it truly does take one to know one.
A few months ago, I was offered some information about someone I know. This info exchange was passed among a very small circle. As one in the know, I learned this person was yet again claiming money offered to hurricane survivors, even though this person no longer lived in the damaged house and has since moved on from the area and the aftermath. My first reaction was of anger. There are thousands of us still picking up the pieces. The progress is so slow, I regret that I did not just stay in Dallas when I had the chance. How could this person be so greedy? The time it takes to get help is one of the reasons progress is slow. Like I said, there are thousands of us! But to get an appointment with the managers of government and community outreach requires a shit ton of red tape. Hell, it's not even tape, it's lasers! After the appointment, you have to wait even longer for approval or disapproval. If you are approved, you move to the next step, but only phase one of that step. If you are disapproved, you are moved to the beginning and get to start over, or you get nothing. So this appointment this person scheduled was taking time away from folks who genuinely need help for whatever god forsaken reason they haven't in the almost two years since the hurricane.
Within 24 hours, I regretted that reaction. No one said anything to me. I'm on a journey of honesty. That's pretty much what hurricane harvey did. The disaster made me look at myself, my life, my decisions, my people, my habits in ways I refused to in the past. No hurricane can match the upheaval I saw within. Nice try, Harvey! And no, the others are uninvited while I'm at it! My regret was because I know better than to react like that. This is happening because of something within, not without. So I put myself in the shoes of this person and recognized the difference in self-worth. This person felt worthy of deserving. If I had, if any of us had, we'd have all pushed heaven and earth to have that kind of fortitude, whether to rebuild and ask friends daily for help until someone showed up or to move on and make the most out of our new life. Truth be told, it's been a daily battle of, "Why me," and "Why does no one have compassion on me?". Then the, "Aha!" It was pretty powerful, and it kicked my ass! I have a few ideas I'm working on to speed up the progress, and I feel absolutely amazing about myself and what I'm worth.
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The noun jugement comes from the mid c. 1300 Old French and means "action of trying at law" and "capacity for making decisions. From 13c is "penalty imposed by a court." From 1530 it is a sense of "discernment" and later as "a divine allotment, event regarded as an expression of divine displeasure."(See Etymology)
A noun puts a face on language. When we make a judgment we are painting a picture with our understanding. Two people standing on a beach looking out, with paint and brush in hand, and a canvas staring at each will paint from their own perspective. Whose perspective is the right perspective? When I decided this person I knew was greedy, I was painting a picture of how I saw her. Where does this understanding or interpretation come from? Is it truthful? Sure, from my initial perspective, is definitely truthful. And truthfully, it's also hurtful. It's hurtful to everyone, because it casts a shadow onto this person by imposition of divine displeasure. That displeasure is a feeling that comes from within, not without. She didn't cause any displeasure, I felt displeasure for her obtaining something I didn't think was her right. And guess what, what she does is none of my business. And why did I not think it was my right too?
A vampire is a being that sucks the life, or blood, out of someone. Looking out, we all see vampires. But when we take a reel look at what's going on out there and feel what is causing that from within, life begins to get a little more interesting, and we start to realize that we are much too busy making judgments from our own lack of control within ourselves. Whatever it is we think we need IS THE THING that is sucking the life out of us. It is that need that is making a judgment or painting a picture, and we react to the outward environment that we created. And now we have created a negative feedback loop. By judging, we are putting a face on language, on how we understand things, and when we start putting all the judgments together and actually take a look at the bigger picture, what we are looking at is a reflection.
It's been so long since I've seen The Vampire Diaries. I didn't even watch the last two seasons of the series; but there was one particular plot line that struck a chord with me: the humanity switch. The reason why the idea of vampires is so seductive, is because it is a way to show us us without having to hate any particular character. We are allowed to revel in their evil, lust for blood, and superhuman abilities, while granting them access to immortality. They get to do all the bad stuff and still be young and beautiful too. In the show, some of the vampires will binge on destruction, and the other characters work together to get that humanity switch turned on, to calm the insatiables down. I don't remember all the ways they did it, but one was getting Damon to remember something from his past.
And that's what happens to us. When we are destructive in our behavior, sometimes family will abandon us and sometimes they intervene, but it's usually a memory we are fond of that brings us back to our senses. That's great for addicts, but what about people that don't realize they're vampires?
We're always looking out and judging. I don't judge anyone for judging, do you. I'm honestly tired of it and no longer see the point. I don't know about the people that don't realize they're vampires. And I don't care. Because if I'm minding my own business and replacing my warped needs with love, then that's the reel I'm playing out. When I judge, its done from a place of unconsciousness, and my hope is to unearth every lie within myself, so that judgment is no longer a play in my playbook.
We're all vampires. When we recognize we are not loving you, or others the way we want, we can decide to change it. We change it by loving ourselves.
Much love!
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